Affirmations are the first step to building self confidence.
A affirmation is a statement that you read to yourself to change a negative mindset and build confidence. Now you might be thinking that sounds like something a cheesy psychologist from a movie would tell you to do. I mean how can telling yourself you look good really make a difference? I mean come on! At least that was my first reaction when I first heard about affirmations. However, after researching affirmations, I discovered that the psychology technique of using affirmations to develop self confidence is based off of decades of solid research and positive results. So I decided to try affirmations on myself. My conclusion? AFFIRMATIONS WORK! Without a doubt affirmations changed how I viewed myself and helped me develop self confidence.
How exactly does an affirmation work. I won't get too in depth at the moment, but I will cover the basics. Everyone has an internal dialogue that runs through their mind. For instance, a guy, who we will call John, might see a pretty girl and think, "Wow she is hot, I want to get with her. Oh no! She is with a good looking football player. There is no way she would pick me over him." This is an example of a simplified internal dialogue. Everyday in every situation internal conversations, like the above, pass through our minds. If you have low self esteem these dialogues will be filled with negative and doubting statements such as: "I am not good enough." I am not smart enough." "People will think I am weird." "I am not as athletic." "She is too good for me." "It never works out for me." Etc. These statements are not based on facts but are rather bad habits your mind has subconsciously developed overtime. Your minds habit of introducing these negative statements into your internal mental dialogues, for obvious reasons, crushes self confidence. The use of positive affirmations is technique that breaks this destructive habit. By repeating a positive statement about yourself on a daily basis, your subconscious mind will internalize the positive statement and break the bad habit of self doubt. With a positive mindset, overtime, self confidence will grow exponentially.
An example of affirmation at work with John:
Let us look at how positive affirmations would have changed John's thought process when he saw the hot girl.
"Wow she is hot, I want to get with her.
Oh no She is with a good looking football player.
There is no way she would pick me over him. I am charismatic and fun she probably rather be with me. I am going to go talk with them and see what happens. This will be fun." You can see how positive affirmations have replaced the once self defeating thoughts to create genuine confidence.
Now that you know how affirmations work, and you know that affirmations do work, it is time to write your affirmations and set up a routine.
To begin make a list of doubts and fears that cross your mind frequently, for example, "I am not good enough," "I am not the best looking," "I am awkward," "I come across a creepy, "etc.
Take the top ten most frequent doubts that cross your mind and write an opposite statement to those doubts. For example "I am awkward in social situations," would be the doubt and you would then write, "I am cool and fun to be with in social situations. People enjoy hanging out with me." These ten new positive statements will become your first set of affirmations. Write these statements down on note cards, read them to yourself when you wake up, read them before you go to bed, read them to yourself in a boring lecture, read these affirmations so frequently that you dream about them. Well maybe not that much, but you get the point.
A tip about how to read the affirmations.
You can't read the affirmations the way you would read a boring homework assignment. You need to believe what you are reading. Visualize yourself acting they way your affirmations dictate, internalize the positive emotions the words evoke. If you are having a hard time feeling the positive emotions from your affirmations, try watching a funny comedy skit or a funny youtube video and then read your affirmations when you are in a good mood.
Every so often reevaluate your affirmations. Are they addressing your biggest self doubts? If you have a new or more intrusive negative thought running rampant through your mind, then write a new affirmation to get rid of that self doubt.
If you are diligent about this you will crush your negative thoughts and build lasting confidence!
Here is a link for even more ways you can make you affirmations effective.
Affirmations
